Katie Maximick

For many Canucks fans, the 2011/2012 season has kicked off like a bad nightmare. The Canucks are sitting fourth in the Northwest Division at 4-5-1, they’ve been shut out three times already and Roberto Luongo walks the streets of Vancouver, shunned like a leper.

But think of the big picture -- Vancouver's record this early into the season isn’t as scary as this: 

Seriously Chara, did you think being a 6’9” bunny for Halloween was a GOOD idea? Those poor children are never going to look at Easter the same. Way to go, Big Guy.

Anyway, back to the Canucks and this spoooooky start to the season.

Bieksa’s minus-9 rating is not only the worst on the team; it’s the worst in the NHL among defensemen.

"It's embarrassing,” he said yesterday, “Especially for someone who takes pride on playing other teams’ top lines and shutting them down."

Could it be that Bieksa’s critics are right? That he only performs well in the final year of his contract, then once re-signed, returns to mediocrity?

I think even his worst critics are hoping this isn’t the case. Talk about a nightmare.

And despite what appeared to be a stronger start this year, Ballard isn’t far behind at minus-7, and even Uncle Manny is minus-6! In the past three weeks the Canucks have been shut out three times, either due to a lack of finish by Vancouver’s forwards or, in Lundqvist’s case, a goalie completely shutting the door.

To sum things up, they can’t score, they can’t seem to defend against scoring and their goalies are either hung out to dry or manage to hang themselves.

The entire team knows it has to step up, and soon, before Canucks fans take to the streets with pitchforks and torches to hunt them all down like Frankenstein's monster.With this city, even this Halloween metaphor isn’t that far from the truth.

"It's good the Capitals are coming to town,” said Henrik Sedin about tonight’s game. “It'll bring everyone up to the level we need to be at. If not, it'll be embarrassing.”

Right now the Canucks are looking like the main character in a horror movie, the one who runs up the stairs in the house, while everyone watching is yelling, “No, you idiot!”

But the thing is, despite the audience’s fear for the main character early on in the movie, the hero always triumphs in the end.

You see what I’m getting at, Canucks fans?

What needs to happen here is someone on the team (or everyone, whichever) needs to revive their inner 1996-era Neve Campbell, turn off the phone, turn on their attackers (critics) and shoot the bad guy.

Like anyone watching a horror flick run its course, Canucks fans just have to clutch their blankets, hold on tight to loved ones and hope that their favourite character comes out alive in the end.

At least the already-infamous Kesler Pumpkin is lightening the mood around here. Talk about a scandalous squash.

Enjoy tonight's game, and have a great Halloween weekend!